Like so many times before
But my eyes
Are dry before I leave the floor
Oh Lord I try...
but this time Jesus how can I be sure
I will not lose my follow through
between the altar and the door
i started thinking about our mission trip to mexico in november because our high schoolers are leaving tomorrow to go down for a week. i can't wait to go back. i love how God will break you down just to fill you back up. i saw so much that week i was there and it changed me so much. i remember being there and thinking how i was going to change my entire way of life, in light of the poverty and hopelessness i saw all week. coming back to the states was hard, knowing what i was leaving behind. i had so much trouble even explaining to people what i had experienced on the trip, and how God had opened my eyes in so many different parts of my life. the whole week, i had the casting crowns song above on my mind, because it talks about how gung-ho we are when we are at the alter, but how as we get further and further away, it becomes harder to uphold the behaviors and attitudes. i prayed that once i reached the door, i would be able to keep up my plans to look at my life differently based on how i had been changed in mexico. but as time went on, we start to forget the alter, and forget the emotions and sights.
one of the reasons i am so ready to go back is to refresh myself with how i want to live my life differently. and i am ready for God to break me down, so that He may wonderfully fill me back up. we were His hands and feet for those 6 days, doing what He has called us to do. and i yearn for that in my life all the time, so my prayer is that i don't lose sight of the plan and that i don't lose my follow-through the alter and the door.
God loves us so much, and if GRACE was an ocean, we would all be sinking in it.
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