doubt

i've never really struggled with confidence, self-esteem, whatever you want to call it. actually, the opposite, i have the tendency to be slightly over confident at times. and its then when i really do need to be put in my place. its only human.

but for the first time in a very long time, i am doubting myself and my abilities to become a PT. classes are getting harder and i feel like there is this huge mountain in front of me that keeps growing. i had patient observations at the hospital the other day, and the PT i was working with made me feel so incompetent. it was one of those days where i just felt like quitting. i've been doubting that i will be able to handle the stresses of the program and handle the academic mountain that is in front of me. i go out on clinicals in LESS THAN 6 MONTHS and i feel like i could never be prepared for that. i look at other people in the program, in my class, and others, and think to myself, "well, if they could do it, i certainly can handle it." i shouldn't have that attitude in the first place, because i d0n't like comparing myself with others, when we are all different and we each have our own talents.

i think its just a phase and that i'm just really ready for a break. i pray for the confidence to keep taking 1 little step up the mountain every day. even on days when there is an avalanche. i know this is what i want to do with my life, i'm just not so sure everyday how thats going to happen.

those are my thoughts. and here is a picture to accompany my thoughts.